There’s an absolutely brilliant scene in The Office that always rears its head when I think of Brooklyn Peltz-Beckham.
Ricky Gervais’ cocksure David Brent is gearing up for his one and only motivational talk. He stumbles across two other middle managers who are enjoying a spliff before they deliver their own cliché-ridden tidbits of wisdom.
Brent, donning a tight white tee and a glistening earring, nonchalantly leans against a vending machine, asks if the men are smoking “skunk”, lies about his own recreational marijuana use, then departs with a wink and a “catch ya later”.
It’s the epitome of just how obliviously arrogant, self-centred, and socially inept Brent is. His desire to be popular and come across as jaw-droppingly cool makes for hilarious viewing.
Brooklyn Beckham’s ‘Mama’s Boy’ tattoo used to be on his chest
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INSTAGRAM/NICOLA PELTZ-BECKHAM
The eldest Beckham child shares many parallels with Brent. But while the latter thought the centre of the universe existed in a Slough office block, the former continues to make his fans believe it’s based in a $16m mansion in Beverly Hills.
Everyone knows the story by now. The eldest child of a footballing legend and former Spice Girl severed ties with his multi-millionaire parents after 27 years of living under the harshest conditions known to man.
The Sudanese, Eritreans, North Koreans and other dictatorial victims had nothing on old Brooklyn Brent… I mean, Peltz-Beckham.
In the months since his bombshell January statement, his parents have kept schtum in the public eye when it comes to their eldest son. Despite being dragged through the mud by him and his wife Nicola Peltz, Posh and Becks have done their utmost to avoid joining the budding chef in the quagmire.
Brooklyn Beckham has removed the tattoo tribute to his mother
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INSTAGRAM/BROOKLYN BECKHAM
Instead, Goldenballs and Posh Spice have maintained nothing but fondness for their estranged son. In the rare and brief remarks where the subject of their children has been brought up, both have delivered dignified and seemingly heartfelt responses.
Even Brooklyn’s siblings have done the same. Youngest brother Cruz was accused of tenuously mocking the rift in a TikTok video a few months ago, but when he got wind of the reception, it was swiftly deleted.
Whatever you think of ‘Brand Beckham’, it’s irrefutable that the family who keep the cogs whirring have done their best to avoid the Peltz-shaped interference in its gears.
But now, Brooklyn has decided to add a fresh load to the slurry he continues to fling at his family from across the pond.
Brooklyn Beckham has an anchor tribute to his dad tattooed on his arm
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INSTAGRAM/BROOKLYN BECKHAM
The hot sauce creator revealed this week that he has fully erased the “Mamma’s boy” tattoo he had in honour of his mum from his chest. Instead, he’s replaced it with an elaborate floral tattoo thought to depict his wife Nicola’s wedding bouquet from their 2022 nuptials.
The 27-year-old revealed the completed cover-up through a shirtless photograph posted to his Instagram Story on Wednesday during a run, giving followers an unobstructed view of his transformed torso.
The original tattoo, produced in a typewriter-style font over his heart, was among the earliest pieces of body art Brooklyn had inked, first appearing in photographs back in 2017.
He had begun the process of concealing the tribute to his estranged mother last year, but this week’s image confirmed that the words have been entirely obscured beneath the new design.
Brooklyn Beckham is no longer on speaking terms with his famous parents | GETTYBut as if this ink-based protest wasn’t enough, he reserved enough time in his tattooist’s chair to get one over on dad David, too.
His tribute to his father – an anchor design on his upper right arm, bearing the word “Dad” alongside the year 1975 – has been largely obscured by new artwork featuring a star and other shapes.
Beneath the anchor, the phrase “Love you Bust” once sat, using a pet name David had given his eldest son. That text now appears significantly faded.
It’s the latest in a long line of Brooklyn hissy fits while his parents and siblings attempt to carry on without the drama.
Nicola and Brooklyn Peltz-Beckham have distanced themselves from the Beckhams
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INSTAGRAM/NICOLA PELTZThe list is long. In the past few weeks alone, Brooklyn poured salt in the wound by refusing to mark his initial wedding anniversary to Nicola – the pair use their 2025 vow renewal, in which the Beckhams weren’t invited, as their new anniversary date.
Elsewhere, Nicola appeared to dismiss the bond she once shared with sister-in-law Harper in a loaded Instagram post, they cosied up to David and Victoria’s pals Sir Elton John and David Furnish in France, and the less said about that ridiculous World Cup fast food advert, the better.
They even accused distraught-looking teenager Harper of being part of a staged and faked olive branch attempt when she arrived at their LA home over the summer.
Look, Sir David and Victoria haven’t been saints. I even stated back in June that their continued social media posts aimed at Brooklyn, when he’s explicitly asked them not to, are nothing short of performative.
Victoria and Nicola have been at loggerheads since the Peltz-Beckham wedding | GETTY
But following the Peltz-Beckhams’ continual poking of the ‘Brand Beckham’ bear, my sympathies lie firmly with two parents desperate for reconciliation with their eldest son.
All of this to say that if the former aspiring photographer truly wanted the privacy he and his wife so desperately craved, then instead of the tatts, maybe it’s time to cut the Beckham name for good.
Brooklyn Peltz has a ring to it. Plus, he wouldn’t have to be reminded of his devilish parents every time he signs a cheque for a new yacht or private jet.
Instead, the Beckham moniker is there for all to see across his social pages as he continues to publish Brent-esque dross.
‘Forget that every one of my followers is peppering my posts with calls to reconcile; here’s a pizza where the base is made of chicken. God, I’m good.’
‘Forget that my wife is sat next to me on one of our 10,847 sofas; here’s a post dedicated to her with a caption reminiscent of an obsessed stalker. God, I’m lovely.’
You can’t blame someone for being born into wealth. But you can blame them for throwing their diamond-encrusted toys out of the pram while continuing to aim potshots at parents who’ve paved the way for their success.
He’s 27. Hope isn’t lost. I’m holding out for a redemption arc akin to Brent’s brilliant parting words to the odious Chris Finch.
But first, perhaps it’s time Brooklyn created an atmosphere where he was a son first, social media influencer second, and chef third.
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